Is it safe to date or be married to a bi-sexual man?
We’re going to start todays lesson off by defining a few terms for you before we dive into the topic! The first term is ‘safe’ and by “safe” this means to BE protected from or not exposed to danger or risk (Thanks Google!). Now, just so we are all on the same page with no misconceptions, bisexual is often referred to as a person who is sexually attracted to both men and women. In addition to this definition, the term is often used when discussing men / women who lead double lives. Now that we’ve got our vocabulary test out of the way, let’s begin…..
The ‘down low’ is a term that was coined in the black community which describes men who openly live a heterosexual lifestyle but secretly sleep with other men. This is certainly not exclusive to the black community but it carries a lot of stigmas that seems to weigh more heavily on people of color. Black culture perpetuates strong men and women, kings and queens if you will, and the image of gay men seems to threaten those ideals of strength and masculinity. Women (not just black women) want to feel safe and covered by the man they choose to partner or sleep with.
Here at Neesy Pleasures, we want to debunk the myths associated with the idea that gay men aren’t real men and won’t give you (as a woman) what you need. This simply just isn’t true. In fact, gay men may understand the needs of women on an entirely different level than heterosexual men. This doesn’t make bi-sexuality right or wrong but it is something that you definitely need to have a clear understanding about & equally clear discussion about with your partner.
Sexuality doesn’t necessarily dictate gender social norms. The truth of the matter is, that you HAVE to be able to accept people on their own terms while also understanding what terms are suitable for your own lifestyle. This means disclosing your sexual preferences to your partner early in the dating process and helping them to understand who YOU are. If this is something they can’t deal with, it’s better to know that going in so that you can adjust or move on accordingly. It is important to have a foundation built on truth instead of hopes of understanding later on down the road.
Dating or marrying a man that is bisexual won’t necessarily put you in any more harm than being with a man that is unfaithful. If that man chooses to be in a monogamous relationship with you then you have nothing to worry about. The fact that he has dated or would potentially date other men doesn’t mean that he desires anyone other than you during the time of your commitment. However if the thought of your man having dated, slept with or been intimate in any way with another man disgusts you then by all means, move on!!! There is no need to put each other through the anguish of wondering about all of the what if’s.
Communication is the key to everything. If you meet a guy that you’re into, perhaps you could consider trying NOT to allow his sexuality to change the image of the man that is standing before you. As with anyone that you don’t trust or if you have doubts of any kind, always protect yourself sexually and just let love win!