Spice It Up
How Much Is Too Much Porn?
Let’s start off by being totally honest……..Everyone (or at least almost everyone) has watched some sort of porn at some point in their lifetime. Grant it, it may not be a hobby of yours but going through your entire life without ever seeing a flick is damn near impossible! So now that we’ve got that off our chest, here’s a simple question for those of you who do venture into the virtually unlimited world of XXX. How do you gauge how much porn is REALLLLLLLYYYYYY too much for one person?
People watch porn for various reasons which may include solo sexual gratification or a way to enhance their sex life with a partner. It is hard to generalize how much porn is too much without taking individual lifestyles into account. For example, a person who watches porn ten times in one day, once a week may seem excessive until (s)he is compared to the person who watches porn ten times a day every day! We won’t throw out any suggestive numbers but here are a few signs to consider if you border on the edge of an obsessive porn watcher!
*Running out of lies – If you find yourself constantly covering your porn tracks trying to hide it from others, then you may have a problem! The only person that you truly should disclose your porn past time to is the person that you are in a relationship with. If you have to hide it from that person, i.e. they object to your desire to watch pornography or you feel ashamed, there needs to be a real conversation discussing why you HAVE to watch it or why they truly don’t want you to. This can open up some old wounds or shed light on a problem that neither of you realized existed to begin with.
*Committed to pornography – When you find yourself flaking on your friends or showing up late to work because you needed to watch that last bit of erotica, you guessed it, you may be watching too much porn! Isolating yourself from real people to engage and fantasize with actors is almost a sure sign of addiction. There are a few cases that suggest people watch porn to aid with feelings of depression/anxiety but the long term effects are the exact opposite. If the only commitment you can keep is your date with your computer porn-lover, please take a step back and seek counsel.
*Losing yourself- When your expectations with your own body/performance or that of your partner becomes unrealistic because of your porn standards, you’ve officially watched too much porn. Sex is a real thing that real people engage in but porno is NOT real. Comparing your body to that of the paid actors is not healthy in any way and suggesting that your partner look or act like those people can truly compromise your relationship. Objectifying yourself can happen and you may not be immediately conscious of what you’re doing because your reality is warped altogether.
The impact of porn is raising more concern due to the negative effects that it can create. It is well known that porn addiction is a real thing and even gospel great, Kirk Franklin had to overcome it after many years of being in denial. Again, it can be an easy way to spice things up with your partner or a convenient stimulator to help you reach a quick happy ending alone. There is nothing wrong with watching porn but do be aware of any changes or preoccupation within yourself or possibly those that are close to you. Porn addictions are usually the very last topics that people want to openly discuss so if you think you or someone you know may be dealing with it, approach the issue without judgement or ridicule and keep an open mind when trying to understand the perspectives of others.
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